Time will tell...

This morning has been a hard one:
Marissa was pointing out photos we have hanging on the wall and pointed to Mav's photo and said, "oh, puppy," and it hit me like a ton of bricks! Tears flowing uncontrollably...Marissa just stood there staring at me, unsure what was going on or how to make it stop?  I had to sit down and felt the need to jot some things in my online-blogging-diary I started for him, well...to be honest, it's probably for me and my sanity. I reread a post from 2.5 months ago...after reading it, my tears stopped and I was able to concentrate on my love for him.
Sorry for the serious post - I'll follow it up with a cute one of Rissa :)

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2012

Time will tell...

We are a mere three days post that last vet appointment that still has me weeping from utter sorrow. The guilt is starting to lessen but the immense pain is ever present. I feel as though I still hear him, like a baby's cry that lingers in your ears even after they've gone to sleep. When I come home, I am expecting his clanking collar and exuberant tail to be slashing about - instead, just a low hum from the air conditioner welcomes me. I am uncertain if the frigid air or the harsh realization is causing my goosebumps but I shake them off - trying to push the image of Maverick out of my mind.

How long will this go on?...My mind and body are taking a beating from the event experts told us was the safest and responsible action to take. Our dear family and friends are supportive and offering their love, it's with their help that I am able to get through each day. How long will this go on?...I've heard a few weeks...a few months...two years... oh dear. This sadness is overtaking me and slowing me down...

How long with this go on...only time will tell.

This is the very last photo I have of our handsome little "Bucket"